"Mein · Blut · ist · LAVA!!"

When I was younger, I used to fantasize that I was adopted, and that my real parents were awesome rock stars, or from a nomad tribe in the Middle East, or something. I just admitted this to my dad, and he found it pretty funny (the conversation started out with me asking him what my blood type is. I still don't know...).

I've sort of gotten over this phase, and finally accepted the fact that my current parents conceived me. I still toy with the adoption idea though. Sometimes I imagine a scenario in which a really crazy rock star like Jeff Beck (he's pretty nuts) approaches me one day and says, "Guess what, kid. I'm your old man."

I think that if that happened now, after getting over the initial shock, I'd say something like, "That's ok. You were pretty screwed up then, so I wouldn't have wanted you as a live-in dad anyway. By the way, can I have money for grad school? And for a plane ticket to Japan so I can work there? Thanks daaaaaad :D"

It's all about money these days.

...makes me want to murder infants. Especially when having to deal with a combo of one-ways and U-turns (U-turns...). Sad thing is, I wasn't even the one driving. Perhaps this is a good thing.

On another note, I'm in NYC again (well, it's really New Jersey, but we go in enough to be able to say NYC :D). We're leaving tomorrow though. We mostly went to drop my sister off at her new home (she's moving in with her boyfriend). But I finally got to see the Museum of Modern Art! I now have two favorite paintings:

- A blue canvas, with large yellow letters saying "OOF". The description didn't give any explanation for why he was inspired to make that.

- A large black painted square. No details, no different shades. Just a black square. I love this so much because the description next to it said something along the lines of "In the last ten years of his life, [painter's name?] focused on painting black squares." :)

There was also this really neat room that was lit only with orange lighting. Everything in the room showed up as either orange or black, so everyone had really pale lips and looked really sickly (and zombie-ish). I looked at my palms -- where you see all those little veins and capillaries -- and they looked blackish.

Of course, there was a lot of other art that -- to put it really bluntly -- looked as if more artistic effort had been put into it :P.

No, I don't want to experience natural (unnatural) male enhancement. I have nothing to enhance. And no, I am not going to make this a nifty gift to anyone I know, regardless of whether they need/want unnatural male enhancement. So please. Stop. E-mailing my fucking college inbox! Thanks.

'I'll get your clothes. I can do that. I'm a doctor.' - says a psychologist =]

And of course, more from Pinhead -
"Just come here and die child, while you still have the option of doing it quickly."
"Your suffering will be legendary, even in hell."
'No more deals child, it is your flesh we want to experience, not your skill at bargaining.'

Again - epic. I don't know if I can watch any more of these movies though. They're so baaaaad =[

So I was sitting here, in my room, upstairs, well away from the kitchen, minding my own business, when I saw a black spot move on the wall in my peripheral vision. I looked up: it turned out to be an ant that was about an inch long, and proportionally thick.

WTF IS A BIG-ASS ANT DOING IN MY ROOM AND HOW THE FUCK DID IT FIND IT'S WAY UP THERE?!???!!!!?!?! I haven't even eaten in my room in several weeks =(. Did he find food left over from somewhere? And are there more where my new (and now, recently deceased) pet came from? Ack! Ack!

On another note, my sister, dad, and I saw the first Hellraiser movie a couple of nights ago. Can I just say that Pinhead is now my hero?

"Oh, no tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering." Epic.

...it's time for me to start planning what comes after. I graduated two Mondays ago, and have yet to formulate a strict plan for what I'm going to do now. Though as far as my less-immediate future goes, I've got:

- Peace Corp (probably in about 6 months to a year from now. I still have yet to sign up for it, but before I do that, I have to figure out when I want to leave :|. This will 2-years-and-3-months commitment, and I'm hoping that they send me to either Asia or to the Pacific Islands. Preferably Asia, since someone I know got sent to the Pacific Islands and developed a sort of permanent foot fungus, since he took this medicine that the Corp gave him, which may or may not have killed his immune system.)
- Publishing Company in Chicago (basically, Columbus has a shitty market for publishing unless I want to go into educational stuff -- which I don't -- and I've been meaning to move to a different city anyway. So...I strongly plan on moving to Chicago once I come back to the U.S. to start work in a publishing company, in an entry-level position (let's just hope that they think I'm qualified for it))
- Masters degree in Publishing something-or-other (only after I get a good 1-2 year feel for the market, unless, of course, I fall in love with my job and want to keep it for a few more years).
- Publishing company of my own? (only after I get tons of experience with it. But I'd have to figure out what want to publish for, and then find partners who could help me out, since I'm not nearly confident enough to do this type of thing on my own. This would be for the waaaaay way future, though, if I ever feel a strong ambition.)

As for the more immediate future, I've got:
- Volunteering on an organic farm (which only costs $20 for a year-long membership) or volunteering in New Orleans (which costs $25 rent per night, so I might put this off for now?) Or possibly both?
- Either working in an office/marketing position for a nonprofit circus (though this has a year-long contract you have to sign, so it wouldn't just be a summer job thing) or working in a book store for about 6 months to a year (at least Columbus has books stores...)

As of now, I'm doing nothing useful. Absolutely nothing. With no real prospects yet. Unless you count vaguely looking around at different companies that I'd consider applying to in the future as being productive. Mostly, I'm doing that whole "taking a temporary post-graduation break" thing, but hopefully not for long, since I generally detest not having anything useful or world-saving to do.

On my way to Woosters student union, I heard a guy shout "Hey!" from his car. When I turned towards him, he waved, grinned, and shouted, "Hey! She-male!" then laughed with his friend and drove away. (I was wearing a baggy sweatshirt, and my hair is cut short).

I;d almost feel bad telling him that calling me "she-male" doesnt particularly offend me (though it made me sad for his IQ level).

I can now say that I ate a tequila worm (I named him Paco. I had him for about a year before eating him, since my friend, who had the same brand of Mezcal, and I made a deal to save our booze worms for IS Monday. Her worm's name was Pedro).

In other words, I sort of drifted through IS Monday in a perpetual daze, stumbling a lot.

After some thought, I've come up with the following definition:

Meathead (meat-head): An abnormally muscular young man, whose excessive time spent drinking protein shakes and lifting weights, or otherwise engaging in a strenuous physical activity, has led his brain tissue to be replaced with muscle tissue, thus diminishing intelligence. Diminished intelligence often leads to lack of judgment, which generally causes meathead to engage in violent activity during most social interactions.

So, does anyone want to guess how my Friday night went? Here's a hint: It starts with "M" and ends with "eathead." (So as to not cause any worry, no one was hurt, and since it involved a group of friends, my only physical involvement was trying to separate two people). Oh, I also get to be a witness on Wednesday evening.

After considering my definition for meathead, I was compelled to see what urban dictionary had to say about it. I think it sums up the ordeal pretty well. Thank you, urban dictionary.

"1. meathead
An enormously muscular guy who cannot hold a conversation about anything other than weight-lifting and protein shakes. Gets upset very quickly when he cannot complete his own sentences and thoughts. Can be found at nightclubs wearing shirts that are 10 sizes too small (if at all). They are by far the most closely related human beings to that of apes, chimpanzees, and other primate. They are evolutionary hindered and are less capable of following directions than my dead hampster."

"2. Meathead
Typically a rather muscular person who walks around with their arms out to their side. Have no fear and love to start fights for no reason. Anthony or "Tony" is a typical meathead name. Shaved head and tattoos are characteristics of a meathead. Also known as a hardass. They carry around gallons of water acting to be some sort of muscle machine."

"3. meathead
One who wears cutoff t-shirts, lift weights, and drinks gallon jugs of water. Usually plays football, wrestles, and is very muscular. They tend to have short hair, and frequently wear sleeveless shirts. Drinking protein shakes and shopping at Hollister are also essential parts of the average meathead's day. Meatheads also tend to abbreviate where they live by putting the first letter of the city, and adding *town after. In addition to lacking high IQs, meatheads tend to stereotype things and people completely wrong."

My dorm room is on the first floor, and my window faces a mini courtyard area and a sparse scattering of trees.

I just saw a guy, facing away from me, write in the snow near those trees with his pee.

My college mates are charming individuals.

Today, the international dorm at Wooster celebrated Guy Fawkes in their weekly dorm meeting, so being the good journalist/news editor that I am, I went to their formal lounge to write a story about them. Apparently, there are fewer people in the international dorm than ever before, so they are now publicly announcing dorm programs to try to get more interest.

Their formal lounge is always dark, since it has no overhead lights--there are only about four dim lamps around the room. Their fireplace was lit when I came in, and they had a chocolate/white cake with "1605" displayed in stand-up wax numbers. The only British student at Wooster told us how they celebrated Guy Fawkes Day in her village--bonfire, sweet cake, effigies, fireworks etc--and then had us draw our artistic renditions of Guy Fawkes onto small paper lunch bags that we burned at the end of the meeting.

Also, whenever it rains at night, the view outside my window reminds me of a 19th century British city street.

So it's almost time for me to return to Ohio--too bad I haven't been keeping this journal up during my time here, but I guess that I only really update a lot when I have little else to do.

So it's a lot hotter in Arkansas' summer than in Ohio's summer (no shit), which means that the wildlife is more exotic (aka more copperheads and cottonmouths--I was advised to not walk in long grasses, especially not after a storm). There are many many more trees here, where the cicadas gather at night to start a chorus of mating calls.

Almost everyone I've met here is from a foreign country (and they are also my dad's friends--it's very strange having become friends with people that my dad's also friends with). They're very nice though--a lot of them are from east Europe (Albania and Romania, mostly) so they're really huggy (especially the Chief Scientist, who must have been one of those crazy smart kids back in Romania: He's only 32 but he already has over 100 publications (mostly collaborative, but still...) and he leads the Nanotechnology Center at UALR, but at the same time he's one of the nicest, hyperactive people I've met.

Also, speaking with the foreign people has really put America's foreign policy in a different perspective, with what they have had to deal with. The Chief Scientist's mom came to visit from Romania, and she doesn't know a word of English. When she came, they took all of her documents, took her into a back room, and tried to force her to sign some documents (she didn't sign them since they didn't even bring a translator for her, and she didn't know what she was signing). Also, she had brought sausages and other food for her son (and I just learned that it's actually ok to bring food here if it's cooked and properly packaged, which it was) but they took her food, and whoever had handled her luggage had broken half of these crystal things she'd brought over as presents. I knew that America was really sketchy with foreigners, but I never knew how bad it could be.

God bless America.

Ok, random question: is it more pessimistic to say "not all changes are bad" or "not all changes are good"? Because with "not all changes are bad," you assume that the general expectation is that "change = bad", yet you're trying to reassure people that there's good in change too. On the other hand, "not all changes are good" implies that the consensus is that "change = good" so you have to let people know that "change can be bad too." I would assume that "not all changes are good" is more pessimistic since you're purposefully informaing people that change can be bad as well, but when you think about it, it's pretty damn optomistic if you assume that everyone is in favor of change. Anyways.

On the other hand, did you know that hummingbirds can be weirdly territorial? I'm at a house in Arkansas that puts out feeders for hummingbirds, and there's one gray one--that the house owner dubbed as "Wallstreet"--that chases off any other birds who try to feed (the name is symbolic, as you might have guessed :P). It's really interesting.

Two nights ago my dad and I drove straight from Columbus to Little Rock Arkansas (aka about 11-ish hours). I had a bag of sea salt and vinegar chips, which I had consumed within a few hours, with very little help from my dad (with only a couple of trail mix bars to dilute it). After that, some of my throat glands were so swollen or bloated that it friggin hurt to swallow water. And even though I drank a lot of water afterwards, I was dehydrated enough that I didn't need to use the rest areas.

Aka, that's something I would not like to repeat Oo. Those chips are so friggin good though...

For the record, the airports have terrible taste in hold-music >_<. Also, I have a headache for no good reason, so I am irritable.

Though a few hours ago I went to a 21st birthday party for my friend from Japanese class last summer, which was nice :). I got to reconnect with some of my other classmates from last summer and also meet some other really nice people. Plus, my friend made us sukiyaki, which was awesome.

I...forgot what else I was going to say. Somethign about going to Arkansas and having a headache.

My friend Jenn sent me this article:

http://cbs5.com/topstories/local_story_159222541.html

Now let's think about this: what happens when you turn an army of soldiers into sex-craved maniacs who would supposedly be so horny as to fuck each other, despite the fact that their culture is really anti-homosexuality? What would happen if they were to be near a village when infected? Not to mention the psychological state they would be in afterwards, if they survived.

Oh, and let's not forget the fact that chemical weapons are completely illegal in warfare, but what do I know? The winning side don't get penalized, and that's where the U.S. intends to stand if this war ever ends, though by the looks of it we're probably gonna have another North/South Korea, with soldiers who have to stay in the country.

Also, call me sick, but what a way to die.